My Little Misfit

I used to think that I was a pretty good teacher, but my little girl has helped me uncover all the assumptions that I still have about education. Even though I know that grades don't paint a really good picture of all the things she knows, I still want her to get good grades. Even though I am happy that she is such an independent little soul, I still want her to fit in. Even though I know that children learn at different speeds, I don't want her to fall behind. All of these things fall into the category of a "good student". But what is a "good student"? I've really had to think about this.

For example, she really doesn't like to be told what to do. As a parent, I had a certain amount of expectation that she would do things because I am the parent and I asked. I have spent a lot of time dreaming up fantastic projects for students over the years that have been very successful. But my child doesn't like to be told what to do. She likes coming up with ideas herself. She likes feeling like she has something important to share, and the minute that she loses ownership, she loses interest. So there have been a few things planned at my house that haven't gotten anywhere near completion, mostly because they haven't been her idea.

After more than 20 years in school, I know that the things that were most gratifying for me as a learner were when I had the opportunity to express my own ideas rather than regurgitate information. It was exciting to let people know that my head was full of thoughtful and original ideas. I had so many great ideas of things that she and I were going to do in the name of education and I have had to learn how to let go of many of them and support her in exploring her own ideas. Teaching is about helping her explore the options she has in developing her ideas, and supporting her when she runs into difficulties and dead ends so she doesn't give up. Teaching is about helping her live with her choices, and recognize the opportunities that she might not see present in them. Teaching is about putting myself and my expectations aside to just love her as she is. My little misfit.