When We Talk We Redefine the World

In my early twenties I spent about three years working as an income security social worker. Some call it welfare. It was a job that I loved and for good reason. For many people, applying for social assistance equated with hitting rock bottom and so being friendly and helpful went a long way with most of my clients.

In the early days, I would get seven new files a week and on intake day, I would visit each of those clients in their home. Once in a while I would encounter situations that made me a little uncomfortable and perhaps vulnerable, but for the most part, intake day was the highlight of my week. It was an adventure. First you'd have to find the place, then you were invited into a home and finally, you got to talk about stuff that really mattered.

If I were to try to pin it down, I think what I loved about the work was that people who have hit rock bottom and are at their most vulnerable, aren't always able to see the potential in themselves or their circumstances. It was amazing what I could learn about people through the conversations and when I would point out all the positive things I could see and muse with them about possibilities...it was like watching a light come on.

People love to tell their story to someone who is willing to listen, and if that person is able to see value in their story, it is incredibly empowering. What's not to love about a job like that? And truth be told, I learned a lot about a lot of things from those conversations.

After working for a couple of years as an income security worker the job changed substantially. We no longer visited people's homes and many of the conversations were replaced by fill in blank forms that were far more efficient than sitting in someone's kitchen, talking over a cup of tea. The job lost something profound for me and it wasn't long before I was ready to move on.

Someone sent me an email a few years ago that said a study had been conducted at some university that showed how women able to handle stress far better than men because of their need for conversation. I believe that story had a lot of truth to it. Then I discovered systems theory and suddenly my need for conversations became clear. More about that next time.

*(The first song on the new DandyLionesses CD is entitled When We Talk, and the line that anchors the chorus reads: "When we talk we redefine the world.")